Viagra Elegies

This pair of poems was fashioned out of real, unedited penis enlargement emails that I discovered accumulating in the Spam folder of my Gmail account. In my humble opinion, they suggest an entirely novel and exciting direction for poetry in the 21st Century. 

I.
Become perpetuum mobile of love

Turn your grass snake into a python
Make your hose’s radius great
So long and hard even when flaccid
Big and crazy huge!

This will bring fire to her crotch
Push your banger inside lady
Blow your load into her
Become her megadriller

Make her stay with your large bazooka
Postpone your love bomb’s explode

More inches in your pants – more reasons to be proud of yourself
Women will flock like bees to honey

Your new female guest
will love that you are blessed

Love her deep deep
Pump her from behind
Wham Bham Thank you Ma’am

Re: So huge I scared her

II.
Weapon used to make love

Cannot hold a candle to other men when it comes to intimate dimension?
More meat is never excessive.

The age of miracles is not past
Our new natural formula is aimed at the maximal growth of your package.

Make all your peers be jealous
About your new huge dimension!

Hottest girls will compete
To get impaled with your new huge rod!

Your newly increased pole will stimulate more receptors inside your lassie!

Give her endless nights
Of pure passion and delight

Don't you know that big size is alpha and omega of a happy romance?

Your salvation is almost there!
Flood of feelings is just a few clicks away!
Start increasing your small knob today!

Your PENIS will make more shadow
Than a tree